Monday, August 17, 2009

SHAHRUKH TWEETS

SRK is never far away from headlines, is he? But this time, he is there not for what he has done but for what has been done to him. Oh! not by Karan Johar, you people with sick minds, but by the arrogant Yanks. They held him up at Newark airport for all of two long hours to make sure that he was not on a "mission". It was only with great difficulty, aided immensely by the loud screams raised by many Indians through every possible means of communication, that Shahrukh Khan was able to convince them that though he was a Khan and on a mission, it had nothing to do with terrorism at all. He was in the US simply to lead India's Independence Day Parade in Chicago.

Every one who is someone and every one who is not, has an opinion about this national disaster that appears to be graver than the drought that is claiming the lives of many poor farmers across India. It is difficult to make any sense of all the noise that one is being bombarded with from all directions. So, some smart guy requested Twitter to get a few concerned Indians, including the poor aam aadmi, to punch their 140 characters or less take on this big development that has shaken India like nothing else has in recent times.

Here are some of those great tweets that followed, some fictional, some real, some suitably tweaked!

Pir Sanghvi: What is the point of electing a President called Hussein if your officers think Khan is a terrorist name?

Ambika Koini: We must do to Bill Clinton what the Americans have done to Shahrukh

Nagarika Ghose: Why is Ambika so hysterical? Politicians need perspective and film stars need smaller egos.

Aam Aadmi: @nagarikaghose That will leave only media stars with big egos!

Barkha Futt: Shahrukh's was revolting religious profiling. Muslim name equals Suspicion

Balman Khan: I am so glad the Americans have done what they did. So what if SRK is a Muslim?

Na-amir Khan: @balmankhan There are better ways to compete with SRK. But for that you need to be intelligent.

Balman Khan: @naamirkhan I don’t have a complex like you. Because of strict checks only there has been no attack after 9/11

Aam Aadmi: Al Gore was also similarly held for questioning. So what's the big deal?

Pir Sanghvi: @aamaadmi That is because his name sounds Muslim, like Al Jazeera, Al Qaida. Al Pacino will soon be held too.

Aam Aadmi: @pirsanghvi Now don't tell me that they thought Bob Dylan was some Dhillon from India!

Mahesh Ghatt: I have one Hindu eye and one Muslim. The latter tells me that all Muslims are being treated like terrorists.

Kisser Khan: Do I look like a terrorist?

Nagarika Ghose: "Sharif" Muslims like Kisser Khan are being denied housing in India. Why the outrage about SRK?

Pir Sanghvi: Abdul Kalam was also frisked only because he had a Muslim name

Aam Aadmi: @pirsanghvi Why has Robert Vadra never been frisked? He has a weird surname, doesn't he?

Ambika Koini: @aamaadmi He is an SPG protectee

Aam Aadmi: @ambikakoini But why? What makes him more important than the Chiefs in whose hands India's security lies?

Barkha Futt: Obama should invite SRK for a "beer summit" and apologise

Ambika Koini: When Obama comes to India, in protest we will not name a platter after him in Bukhara. Can't do more, can we?

Aam Aadmi: @barkhafutt When Modi was denied visa, why did you all rejoice and call the US "world saviour"?

Pir Sanghvi: @aamaadmi Modi is a Hindu terrorist who butchers Muslims; SRK is a Muslim hero who butters Hindus.

Barkha Futt: @aamaadmi He is also my good friend.

Aam Aadmi: I think India needs to learn from America's security culture

Ambika Koini:@aamaadmi The US badly needs a dose of VIP culture, lal battis, commandos, loud sirens, and all that

Aam Aadmi: @ambikakoini Send Laloo Yadav there with his huge extended family and even bigger protection party

Ambika Koini: @aamaadmi Not him. He is not needed by the UPA any longer

Barkha Futt: If India's FM could escort terrorists to Kandahar, why can't Hillary escort SRK to India?

Pir Sanghvi: Hillary takes lot of money from Indians like Chhatwal. She must apologise to SRK and those who don't pay Bill or her

Aamaadmi: @pirsanghvi She takes legit money or bribes? Is she like Indian politicians whom you know well?

Pir Sanghvi: @aamaadmi Does it make a difference? Some Indians have paid her so she must apologise to Shahrukh

Aam Aadmi: @pirsanghvi Some Indians have given her money, so she should apologise to those who haven't? I don't get it

Pir Sanghvi: @aamaadmi You won't. If you could, you wouldn't be blogging about what I, Pir Sanghvi, am tweeting!

Ambika Koini: @aamaadmi Know why you are still aam aadmi? You give us "aam" and are happy to get back "guthli"!